So last night my husband and I went out on a date. We are both sick but seriously needed some alone time after a long holiday week in which our child freaked out at both of the family parties that we attended. As in full blown temper tantrums every few minutes for a solid hour.
My cousin suggested that he might be overstimulated and just not able to handle it. Which I think is exactly right. There were A LOT of people at both parties, like 25-30 and a lot of kids running around. So I do think it was just too much for my very active child who wants to be a part of everything to handle. But it's the holidays and families get together in large groups, there is really nothing that we can do about that so all in all my husband and I were very frustrated by our child's behavior and extremely embarrassed that the other parents could keep there 2-4 children under control and while our one child was melting into a pile of mush everytime someone said hello to him.
Especially since as soon as we got him home he turned into this totally different child. He was suddenly all loving and wanted to be held and sit quietly or play by himself and all traces of the flailing, screaming, hysterical child were gone. So while we understand that he has issues with large groups of people, what are we supposed to do about it? Especially since this is only the beginning of the holidays and there are MANY more parties that we will be attending, which frankly makes us wish that Christmas was over.
Plus the night before we had attempted the mall with the child and finally gave up after the boy protested LOUDLY to our every attempt at shopping. We even tried to bribe him with a chocolate chip cookie (and yes I am THAT mother who has resorted to bribes to get some peace in the store, dum dum lollipops are my best friend at the moment), but instead he decided to chew the cookie until it was the consistancy of glue and then smear all over his father's khaki sweatshirt (it should be fun getting that stain out). What child won't sit nicely in a stroller and eat a cookie? I will tell you... it's my kid.
So basically we needed a break.
As we were driving we started talking about the new baby and our hopes that he will be calm and easy going. I have hopes that he will be as he it is a lot easier to share my body with him than with our first. I am now 6 weeks away from my due date (Crazy I know!) and I can probably count on one hand the number of times that he has kicked me hard. This child is more into floating and wiggling he doesn't attempt to break free from the confinds of my stomache like my first did. So I was telling my husband that I am taking this as a good sign that he will be a calm little boy. To which my husband replied "Come what may." It was his way of telling me not to get my hopes up and that we would deal with whatever came our way.
This reminded me of a talk from conference that I loved but the title was not just "Come what may" it was "Come what may and love it." And that's something that I need to work on. I sometimes get so caught up in how difficult my little boy is and I find myself wishing for him to grow out of it or getting frusturated and upset when he makes shopping trips, parties or my day hard. And I am not very good at loving it. I think we all do this, we think "well... come what may." Like it's a bad thing, and we are annoyed at what life hands us. And we forget to love it. We concentrate so much on the negative side of any situation, and we focus on enduring it and not enjoying it.
I have a very active child. This is not something new. He is not one to sit quietly and watch life go by. He wants to get out and experience it, and enjoy it. And I need to be more like him. I need to just enjoy it. To not get worried when things don't go how I would like, or hung up on all the things that I have to do. I also need to remember that my little boy is 2, and shopping is not at all interesting when you are 2 but unraveling an entire roll of toilet paper apparently is. He is such a smart little guy and he understands so much that I often think that he is older than he is and expect him to act older too. Which isn't fair to him at all. He's just a little boy and I need to take more time let him be a little boy and enjoy that fact.
This reminded me of a talk from conference that I loved but the title was not just "Come what may" it was "Come what may and love it." And that's something that I need to work on. I sometimes get so caught up in how difficult my little boy is and I find myself wishing for him to grow out of it or getting frusturated and upset when he makes shopping trips, parties or my day hard. And I am not very good at loving it. I think we all do this, we think "well... come what may." Like it's a bad thing, and we are annoyed at what life hands us. And we forget to love it. We concentrate so much on the negative side of any situation, and we focus on enduring it and not enjoying it.
I have a very active child. This is not something new. He is not one to sit quietly and watch life go by. He wants to get out and experience it, and enjoy it. And I need to be more like him. I need to just enjoy it. To not get worried when things don't go how I would like, or hung up on all the things that I have to do. I also need to remember that my little boy is 2, and shopping is not at all interesting when you are 2 but unraveling an entire roll of toilet paper apparently is. He is such a smart little guy and he understands so much that I often think that he is older than he is and expect him to act older too. Which isn't fair to him at all. He's just a little boy and I need to take more time let him be a little boy and enjoy that fact.
You sound just like me! It is so easy to forget how little LJ is since he is usually rather well behaved...and that he is the size of a 3 year old doesn't help.
ReplyDeleteI've had to go there too lately. He's in this lovely new phase of having a complete meltdown temper tantrum whenever and wherever he doesn't get what he wants. Peacefulish meals out are no more. And heck yes....I bribe too! The Mrs. Fields store at the mall is my BFF.
You are not alone in this. I too have to remind myself to love it.
Oh and by the way, you guys arrived up a little later than we did last weekend...long after our family meltdowns had substantially subsided. And I mean the good ol fashioned hubby and I looking at each other with the "he's not my child" look seriously begging and hoping that the other would have the courage to deal with the screaming mess sitting at the end of the hallway, dress him and convince him we were going to happily take family pictures. Ha! So be kind to yourself! You're doing a great job!!
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