on sleep...

I LOVE to sleep.

It's kind of my thing. Always has been (except for that brief early rising episode when I was a baby). But aside from that I have always been a big sleeper. Growing up my parents didn't let me have a sleepover until I was like 12 because they predicted, which turned out to be dead on, that I would be asleep by 8:00 leaving all my friends to ransack the house while I slept.

Then as I got older I became queen of the Sunday afternoon nap, I would crash for a good 3+ hours wake up and then go to bed by 9. I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, anytime, anywhere. And when I sleep I am completely out, my husband will have conversations with me, or will tell me to go to bed and I will walk up the stairs, brush my teeth, change my clothes, get into bed and wake up the next morning with no memory of how I got there. Like I said I LOVE to sleep.

When I was pregnant I was afraid that when I had the baby I would not wake up when he cried because I have slept through earthquakes, the previously mentioned party with seven screaming 12 year old girls, movies (in the theater), dodger games (at the stadium I would curl up in those horribly hard uncomfortable seats and be out cold by the 3rd inning). I have fallen asleep at Disneyland laying on the ground waiting for Fantasmic to start and once a car that I was in got pulled over by a cop, yep slept right through it.

Ridiculous...yes but there it is. I have told my husband that he could have a wild night life and I would never know it. He has gotten out of bed, turned on the t.v. in the room, turned on lights, ran errands and I have slept through it all.

Of course the baby came, and in the strange phenomenon that is the woman's brain I hear him sneeze in his room (down the hall on behind a closed door) and I am wide awake. Weird I know.

Well the other night my husband had a coughing attack after we went to bed. And I can remember hearing him cough through the depths of my unconsciousness and thinking "oh I must be dreaming" so I just ignored it and kept sleeping. Well it went on and on, until I finally realized I wasn't dreaming and turned over and mumbled "are you ok?" to which he responded "no" and I can vaguely remember processing his answer right before I fell back asleep.

Poor guy he was up until 1:30 in the morning and all he got was a half-hearted mumble of concern from his wife. The sad thing is that although he has teased me about lack of sympathy, after 3 years of marriage it did not really surprise him. He knows the depth of my sleeping abilities and that you must make sure I am fully awake before expecting anything.

Sad but true story.

On having a second...

child that is.

I have been thinking a lot about this (and no I do not have an announcement to make) it's more the thought of "how am I ever going to do that again?" especially knowing what I know now.

When you find out that you are pregnant with your first baby you have (due to your highly hormonal state) some lofty ideas of how your child will be. You see, for example, a woman at the grocery store peeling her child off the floor as he throws a serious tantrum because she would not buy him cookies and you think "MY child will NEVER do that!" In addition YOUR child will sleep through the night from the time he is born, he will never cry but rather whimper softly whenever he needs something. He will never interupt your shower or spit up his entire bottle all over your new clothes, and he will be perfectly content to lie peacefully anywhere you set him and talk quietly to himself while you get the things done that you need to. He will take excellent naps, always waking up in a pleasant mood, and will pass right through teething without a sign of discomfort.

And then you find yourself with a baby who you swear has been teething since day one and you have soap suds in your hair from the shower that you where halfway through and you are looking frantically for something that you can wear that does not reak of spit up.

And yet when you go and visit you friend in the hospital, and hold her newborn baby you find yourself giving you husband that "Please can i have one?" look. What is it about women that draw us to babies? I have had days when my child won't leave me alone and I think that if another person touches me I will lose it but a friend comes over with her baby and I hear myself saying "Awww... can I hold him?"

Which I suppose is why kids get siblings. Because even though you know full well the ups and downs of having a baby you can't shake that urge to hold a newborn baby.
And then you look over at your little guy playing by himself and think "He could use a friend", someone to play with which will allow me to get things done without a child attached to my leg, because I am sure that MY children will play nicely together ALL the time...

I can dream can't I.