On why I blog...

When last I blogged I was adjusting to life with two kids. Life was not perfect but it was good. I had this sweet happy little baby who made my heart melt with each little coo. He was so content and mellow, completely opposite of my first active little guy. Which speaking of my first, he too had mellowed out considerably once his last teeth came in, and he entered a very fun age where activities could be completed and not just chewed on. We were adjusting, I wasn't sleeping through the night but aside from that I was loving life with my little guys. Summer came and I compiled a list of 50+ things I wanted to do ranging from trips to the zoo, to making ice cream, to taking nature walks. All in the name of enjoying summertime. But life has a way of keeping you on your toes. The moment that you think you have things under control... things suddenly change. For me the change came with the appearance of two little pink lines. I was pregnant... again. With my baby being only 6 months old, this was a complete shock. It should not have been possible and yet it was. I was not handling things well. I was just getting used to having two kids, I was not ready for this. I was scared, confused, frustrated, and feeling terribly guilty. I knew it would be very stressful being pregnant with two kids (then two and under) not to mention having three kids so very close together. I was already exhausted by the end of the day, already feeling stretched thin between these two children vying for attention and now I was going to be adding a baby on top of it all. I could not see how I was going to be able to do it all, and why I was being asked to do it in the first place. One day I was looking at a friends blog, I knew she had kids pretty close together and I was trying to psych myself up, trying to prove to myself that it was possible. I happened upon a post that she wrote about how she got pregnant with her third child. It sounded amazingly familiar, failed birth control, utter shock and three kids very close together. She talked about how hard it was for her when she found out, how she struggled with the news and how she got through it. As I read I felt amazingly close to this women that I know better from her blog than in person. I felt more calm than I had in months, as I read how she had come to the conclusion that she felt that her child coming to there family was an act of God, that the only way to explain why it happened despite their efforts to prevent it was that it was in Gods hands. As I read I knew that this was the exact situation I now found myself in. It was out of my hands, it was something that I was being called to do rather than something I was going to get a choice in. In return I got to have the opportunity to have faith that it would all work out. A few weeks after reading her blog I went back to write a comment, to tell her how much her words had helped me through a hard time. But when I went through her blog the post was gone. Lately I have been thinking about this a lot, I stopped blogging for a while because I didn't really know why I was doing it. People blog for different reasons they share their talents, a glimpse into their families, and sometimes for business purposes. I wasn't really doing any of those things on this blog. I was just writing the random sometimes comical happenings of family. But after this experience I know now why I blog. To let you know that they are not alone. Life is hard, and it's even worse when you feel like you are the only one. Just knowing that someone else has been there and gotten through it sometimes makes all the difference.