on being invited over... with a toddler.

So recently we were invited over by two different families, both have children who are older with their youngest being in middle school, both have known my family and I for a very long time and both invited us over for dinner... toddler and all. In both situations I was dreading the event.

 You see there is a difference between bringing a baby over to someone's home and bringing a toddler. A baby just sits there and can be passed from person to person and is fairly content with whomever is holding them as long as they are being rocked. A baby is fairly containable, you just have to be quick about catching the spit up before it hits the couch and mom is carrying dinner so they are happy.

A toddler is different. A toddler want to run, wants to explore, a toddler knows the difference between their parents and a, albiet well meaning, relative who wants to hold them. Toddlers also get unnerved fairly easily,  for no particular reason and it can take them a while to warm up to new situations and people.  A toddler is fairly impossible to contain and the glass and valueables in the home are in jeopordy of being toppled in the whirlwind that is your child until you leave. It's no longer about being quick enough to catch the spit up but anticipating the launching of every item that you place before them to eat. And speaking of eating they now eat real food, and since toddlers now have an independance that causes them to decide firmly what they will and will not eat and even though they ate a whole plate of pasta last night no amount of prodding or begging will get them to open their mouths today, you cannot possible bring 50 different options of dinner for them to pick and choose from, so you must hope that they will eat something that is provided. Along those same lines is the question of where they will sit and "eat" their dinner. You can't bring a highchair with you, so you imagine trying to balance a child on your lap who is only content when you let him play with the food on your plate while attempting to shove food into a moving target that may or may not be rejected and therefore thrown across the room. Oh and try eating yourself in the midst of all of that.

Like I said... I was not looking forward to it.

At the first dinner, it went pretty much exactly as I had dreaded. There was no place for my little guy to sit so he was perched on my lap as described above, the food was not toddler friendly and he was completely thrown off by a room full of people that he did not know well and who wanted him to hug them. There was nothing for him to play with and so he was bored and felt out of place and therefore crabby. It was a LONG night.

The second place, I was anticipating much of the same. Between the two family's my child had seen the first more often so, in light of the previous experience, that didn't bode well for the next family. Of the two dinners I thought the first would have been much easier to bring my kid to. 

However, the second dinner was quite a different experience than I expected. When we arrives they brought us into their family room which they had completely child proofed, and they had a basket of toys for my little guy. Upon seeing the toys my little guy got very excited and practically leaped from my arms to go and play. He was 100% more comfortable and happy because he had some where that he could be and things that he could play with. He had no trouble warming up to the group. They made sure that there were things at dinner that he could eat and even had a booster seat set up for him. It was so nice.

The difference between the two experience was as simple as a little time and thought. It was as simple as realizing that they had invited a toddler and doing a little extra to accomadate their guest, and for that I was SO grateful. It didn't take much just a basket of toys and a booster seat saved from when their kids were little but it made all the difference to us, and from this experienc I have vowed to remember. Remember what it is like to have a toddler, and to worry about them wrecking someones home. I am going to put away a basket of toys and a booster seat after my kids are grown for just such occasions. So that when a family with little kids comes to my house I can make them feel welcomed too.