on mothering the sick...

Warning: This post contains some details of the sicknesses going around my house. Read at your own risk.

I had a conversation about a year ago with my sister-in-law who doesn't have children yet and she asked me if I ever gagged while changing my baby's diaper or caring for him while he was sick. At the time I honestly answered No. She seemed worried and wanted to know how I dealt with the more disgusting aspects of motherhood.  At the time I didn't know how to answer her. I have taken care of so many babies in my life that a messy diaper doesn't phase me at all and when I see a kid start to gag (even one that is not my own) by instinct I put out my hand to catch it. So I wasn't much help because it has never bothered me. 

However in the last two weeks, two separate events have made me reconsidered the question.

The first event occured two fridays ago when my child had a random rancid diaper. Sometimes these things happen so I didn't think much of it and put the child in the bath (it was THAT kind of diaper). All was going well, I went to grab his towel, turned back to my child and he looked up at me and said "diaper change." Let me translate... this is what my child says when he needs to have a messy diaper changed, so he was telling me that he had just gone to the bathroom and would like me to change his nonexistent diaper. He has NEVER had an accident before in the tub and of course it was a stomach virus, nasty mess.

The second happened two days ago as I was heading off for a girls weekend. I got all dressed up and I was going to drop my child off at my husbands work and then meet the girls at my mother-in-laws house so we could all drive down together. On the way to my husbands office, since I was a little early, I decided to stop at the grocery store to pick up some granola bars as it is always good to keep snacks on hand when you are pregnant. I picked out the bars and stood in line. Then I looked down at my unusually quiet child, who I was holding as he has been a little clingy, to see his little body heaving as he proceeded to throw up all over me.

In both events I understood what my sister-in-law had worried about as the sights and smells I was assaulted with combined with my not-so-iron-clad pregnant stomach. In both cases there was a moment that I thought I was going to lose it right there and then, and then my little boy looked up at me. And in his face I saw a mixture of fear and pain and the tears rising to his eyes as he saw the panic on my face and realized that something was wrong.

 And that changes everything, just like flipping a light switch, your mothering instincts and your need to comfort and protect your child first above all else kicks in. It trumps everything including the overwhelming need to get sick, and you do the only thing you can do, you ignore the smell, the fact that your clothes are very likely ruined, your previous plans and you wrap your arms around your little guy. You cradle him to your chest and find yourself whispering words of comfort in an amazingly calm and controlled voice and that's when you realize that you have made it to motherhood. Really there are no tricks of the trade, there is no way to prepare yourself for dealing with any of it. But there is also no reason to worry because the instinct to nurture is ingrained in women so when you are faced with crisis you just do what comes naturally.